I love music, all kinds and it truly moves me.  I can listen to beautiful Christian music all the way to rap music (thanks to my spin classes.....they are perfect for simulating climbing up a hill on your bike). 

Anyway, this morning as I was getting ready for my day (feeling fine), I had my ipod cranked up to some of my favorite Christian artists.  I was singing along when a song by "Casting Crowns" came on entitled "East to West".  This is an awesome song when you need to cry out to God for help to pull you back into His firm grip.  All of a sudden I heard them sing "in the arms of Your mercy I find rest, cause you know just how far the east is from the west" and I started bawling.  Seriously, the "ugly cry".  My fear of missing my Mom and Dad (terribly) while living abroad came bubbling up (seeing that they live on the "West" coast and I will be essentially "East" of them).  It's like it smacked me right in the face and I felt like a child all over again.  What was happening to me for goodness sakes?  I am not a child, I am almost 40 years old.  Come on Gina, deal.  God was nudging me to just deal with it and feel it.  It was ok.  Then as quick as this feeling surged through me the lyrics "I can't live by what I FEEL, but by the TRUTH your Word reveals, I'm not holding on to You, but Your holding on to me".  Oh, God is so good at giving me just what I need and those words were crucial for me in the middle of my meltdown. 

In the midst of uncertainty, I will be reminded that I am not in control and that  Christ has me in His tight grip, He will not let me go, He will be my comforter.  I will push through these "feelings" because they are so fickle. 

I am sure this will be one of many uncertainties during this move.  I find it so interesting how half of the time, I am so unaware of what lies beneath the surface.  I thought I was fine.......I am now!