The "unsung heroes" of expat living 03/14/2010
 Children are the "unsung heroes" in my opinion. They have no choice in the matter (for the most part), they don't find "this new adventure" necessary, and they are content with their "normal life" at home. Yet, they put on a happy face, take their parents lead and think of all the exciting adventures they will soon embark upon (even though, since they never new about them, what could they be missing?).  As most of you know by now, Max and Sophie are the greatest gifts God could ever have given Dan and I. We waited many years for their arrival and we have always been extremely grateful to be their parents. We take this parenting "gig" very seriously (sometimes too seriously, I am certain). Becoming a parent has changed Dan and I in numerous ways and I have to say "for the better". It has forced us to take our eyes off of ourselves and to think as more of a unit, to think of the future, to think of the legacy we want to leave for our kids.  Which brings me to our current issue, Dan and I grappled to get Max and Sophie into a specific bilingual school in Paris. We were thrilled when they were accepted. I remember the feelings Dan and I experienced as we walked them to school that first day. The school looked so unfriendly and dreary. My first impression was not positive. The day seemed to drag on until we were able to pick them up. Dan and I arrived about 20 minute early and we were sitting in a small hallway waiting to retrieve our little darlings, We could tell a class was released for the day because we heard loud voices, next came a young girl, all of 14 running down the stairs screaming "I don't give a flying f***" and a boy was chasing after her. Dan and I just looked at each other. Next came a group of boisterous pre-teens yelling, kicking each other, and swearing at one another as they exited the building.  We have tried to keep an open mind. We have tried to follow the correct avenues to garner change but now we are at wits end. In the less than two months that Max and Sophie have attended this school we have witnessed and heard as much as we are going to tolerate. Sophie has been pushed down, tripped, had her coat ripped, and called an "f****** loser" by a first grader. She finally opened up completely to me this week and told me that she is afraid at this school and that the children say terrible things and that they swear all the time and that the teachers have no control in the classroom. Max has had his shirt marked on by a student, his school supplies taken, he has gone without lunch items because the teachers don't pay attention to him when his hand is raised and he needs to ask for a spoon for his yogurt, he too has been pushed down numerous times. I had to ask him to "really" tell me how he felt about this school. He started crying and said that the kids are wild and they don't listen to the teachers, that so many people say "oh my God" and how awful that is for him to hear day after day.  Dan and I are on our knees praying for guidance. We want to do what is best for Max and Sophie. We are wrestling with pulling them out and homeschooling them or changing schools. We would love your prayers as we seek God's ultimate will for everyone in this family. CommentsSun, 14 Mar 2010 01:13:51 Oh Gina, Sun, 14 Mar 2010 04:32:51 Gina, I'm so sorry the kids are going through that and I know how it tears apart a parent's heart to see a kid unhappy. I homeschooled as you know, but for us it was more about giving the kids a chance to learn what they were interested in rather than avoiding the things at school. I know that you wanted the kids to be in an environment where they could learn French and not be isolated in an ex-pat environment. Have your feelings on that changed? Have you looked at the local schools and asked them what they would do with two English speaking children? It sounds like a school with such a wide range of ages is more influenced by the older kids and perhaps wilder. Check out the local schools. You may be surprised. If you decide to homeschool, you'll be fine. Just explore with the kids. Do a lot of reading and a little math. History will appear because you're living in Paris. Lindastamps Sun, 14 Mar 2010 05:01:25 Oh Gina, I'm so sorry to hear this! It's heartbreaking to see our kids unhappy. Are there other bilingual schools with less of an age range? You're in my thoughts. Debra P. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:28:18 oh, Gina . . .I am so sorry to hear about the school problems, I feel your pain. I did pull my daughter out of school in second grade under similiar cirumstances. I guess many of us read your blog and wish we were in your shoes. Reality is that the day to day stuff is the same for each of us. I have read some expats blogs about American schools (you have probably heard of these and have already checked them out.) I did homeschool my daughter and continue to homeschool my two boys (6th & 3rd) and I do thank God for that path. I pray that God shows you the way in making this decison. As moms, our peace and well being depends on our children's ability to thrive and happiness. Get this behind you, and I am sure all will be well. Thinking of you in MD. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:26:04 While I have never homeschooled my children and have always believed in the public school system, it sounds like this might be your option given that your children are having such a hard time. It also sounds like this school just isn't the right fit. We did experience some of this in Switzerland since we were foreigners, and at the moment their is a hugh anti-foreigner campaign taking place in Switzerland at the moment. However, this was not at the preschool only the elementary school. You might try looking for a religious private school, or try putting them in the public school system. I know of another mother who lived in France last year and her children has a great time going to the public school. Her children were 5 and 7. Have you spoken to the school about some of the issues you seem to be dealing with? Anyway, I think in your heart you know what you need to do. My only concern for homeschooling them would be that they will not have an opportunity to play with other children and would also miss out on the opportunity to learn to speak French. However, you might be able to hire someone to come and teach them. Good luck, I will keep you in my prayers. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:29:27 p.s. I would not worry about them not speaking fluent French if you do go the public option because they will pick it up like little sponges. It might be hard for a few weeks, but I can tell you after a 4 months in Switzerland my children were fluent. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 17:16:46 OH, Gina. I can't imagine. I agree with one of the previous commenters that as dreamy as the proposition of relocating to Paris may seem there are stark realities to the day to days and your little heros have to deal with them too. You are not being too protective. I too am considering homeschooling my 3 year old and wonder about the socializing aspect of her upbringing but have been reassured by homeschooling friends near by that homeschooling has networking for getting kids together and field trips. Here's hoping that if you do so choose such opportunities would be available to you and your precious ones. I am surely praying for y'all's decision. Aunt Jeannie Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:32:48 I am heart sick over all that Sophie and Max have experienced and also for the pain you are experiencing as their Mom. In the midst of all of life's trials, large and small, God is adequate to the challenge. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers and that you are truly loved to pieces. A friend of mine wrote this for me during this past year. Aunt Rita Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:14:52 Gina and Dan, Sun, 14 Mar 2010 19:48:53 So Sorry ro hear about your beautiful children, I am sure you will find the right way to deal with it.. Jenni Sun, 14 Mar 2010 20:26:43 Oh, Gina. This makes my heart sick to hear about your little darlings. They have been very brave to stick their chins up in that kind of environment. I'm glad their true feelings came out. Praying, praying, praying for you and Dan to hear God's direction with clarity and to experience His overriding peace. Even in this, His greater purposes for good for those who love Him will prevail!! Believing that with you...LOVE to you, friend!! Melanie Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:10:44 Oh, Gina! How heartbroken you must of been to hear how Max & Sophie's days at school had really been going! I know you'll find a good solution, and I'll keep you in my prayers. Leave a Reply |  AuthorGina Johnson  ArchivesAugust 2010 CategoriesAll |
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